Friday, December 30, 2011

disguises v.s reality

13For You formed my inward parts;
         You wove me in my mother's womb.
14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
         And my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NASB)

Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Those costumes we put on when we don’t like the real us; when we want to be something other than ourselves. Sometimes it’s hard being real, but is being fake the right solution?

Girls these days have it pretty rough. I’m not saying guys have bad days, but because I am a girl, I can more relate to them. In other words, I know how rough it gets. Teen girls are blasted with magazines, commercials, movies, and billboards that show superficial bodies and gorgeous, unrealistic hair that just goes “WHOOSH” in the wind. These magazine people live in a world of large, black eyes, long, luscious hair, expensive clothes, perfect skin, bronze tans…the list just goes on and on. But, its all fake. You know that awesome tool called Photoshop? Well, that’s the name of every supermodel’s world.

Girls these days are pressured to be like everybody else. To look like that person. To do their hair like a certain way. To buy the clothes that all the “popular” people are wearing. Basically, to NOT be themselves. Isn’t that sad? So statistically speaking, if everybody is trying to be someone other than themselves…who exactly are they following if the person they want to be like doesn’t even like who they are? Now that’s something to ponder.
Disguises are something we have all put on at one point or another. You either have, or are still wearing one. You may be sitting here thinking why I’m talking about this. You may be sitting here thinking I’m absolutely insane for saying such things. And you know, I may just have to agree with you. The world does think I’m crazy, and you know what? I am perfectly, 100% OK with that…because I know that Jesus wants me to go the opposite way, NOT to just follow the crowd.

Jesus is the coolest person who ever lived on the face of the planet, and people are telling me you have to wear the “in” clothes to be somebody?

Jesus didn’t care what people thought about Him, He just wanted to live His life according to the will of His Father in Heaven. That’s the realest you can get.

I really admire people who are real. By real I mean, you meet them one day and they are the same exact person years later. They don’t care what people think about them, they are just who they are and all they want to do is to live a godly life style and encourage others to do the same.

Being real not only means being all that God wants you to be, but it also means being true to yourself and the people around you. No one wants a friend who has two identities or who is constantly trying to be someone they are not. Being real means standing out. Being real, is the REAL cool.

This New Years, I challenge you to put aside all of the masks you are wearing. To let the walls you've built around yourself fall to the ground. God has you. He is holding you. Let go of the insecurities...because those things do not and will never define the real YOU. 

Love you guys <3

Friday, December 23, 2011

Be Born In Me.

Just recently I bought "Music Inspired By The Story" CD and have found it to be my favorite mix of songs ever. Simply and utterly amazing instrumentals and vocals. One of my favorite songs I've been listening to over and over is Francesca Battistelli's song Be Born In Me - retelling the story of Mary, Jesus' mother. This song is breathtakingly beautiful, perfect for the Christmas season, and literally gives me chills every time I listen to it.
In many ways I think Mary's prayer should be our own. Giving over our whole lives to Him and asking for nothing in return. Just trusting. Hanging on to His promise and being faithful. Such pure, selfless love is portrayed in her. I am thankful for HER this Christmas season.

I hold you in the beginning
You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle
Make my heart Your Bethlehem
Be Born In Me.... 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

so thankful.

Lord I am overwhelmed with Your love.
so thankful.
so much love.
It makes me see how amazing You are.

Thank you for friends and prayers.
thank you for being the calm in the storm.
thank you for your faithfulness.
so amazing
words can't even describe it all.

My heart is full
and this smile belongs to you
everything belongs to you.

You are my all
Mold me so that my heart looks like Your heart.
My home and all that I am is in You.


You are stronger
You are Stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written "Christ is Risen"
Jesus, You...are Lord of all!
// Hillsong United

<3333 thank you Jesus

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Already won.

Many times I've asked the sky
"What am I searching for that I can't find?"
Too many times no answer returns
And I'm struggling beneath all this weight and hurt.

This road that I'm traveling is filled with defeat
So I guess it's good I've got strong shoes on my feet
A lot of people say I'm strong
But if they knew me deep down, they'd see they were wrong.

I'm taken for someone whose dreams stretch too far
And whose absence from their normality makes her life hard.
I was always deemed second in the line of first-calls
A stranger in the mist of "friends" who never called at all.

I've lived a long life but I'm still too young to know
All the hardships that await me on this far-out dirt road.
My pain has come back at the times I least expected it
But you'd never know because I've learned how to hide it.

People don't realize that I'm real too
I may be different but I still am human like you
I watch sunsets and eat chocolate cake
I see beauty in the small things and try never to be late.

Too many people are put down or ignored
Because they don't fit in like everybody says they should
"Used" is a word I know all too well
Picked up and then dropped for somebody else.

But I know I'm beautiful no matter what they say
Because nothing they've ever done to me can stand in my way.
My dreams may seem big but I know someone who is bigger still
Who loves me at my worst and calms my chaotic will

I know I'm not alone even when those moments return
God doesn't give up on anyone who seeks out His word.
Darkness thinks it has triumphed but the battle is done
Because whatever comes against me, God has already won.

- Lexi

Saturday, December 10, 2011


I will bless the LORD at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make its boast in the LORD;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad.
Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.
This poor man cried out and the Lord hear him
And saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him
And delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer and hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Who is the man who desires life,
And loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil
And your lips from speaking lies.
Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry....
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears.
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

{Psalm 34: 1-18}

Thursday, December 8, 2011

higher than I.

Between writing my paper that is SO close to being done and reviewing notes for my last exam tomorrow (whoo)  I wanted to share a psalm that really touched me today. Sometimes when you have so much going on - things to do, school to finish, dinner to make - and stress begins to take over, you forget how big God is and how unimportant our daily rituals really are. Yes, they are important in that "you better get them done", but when you are not making God the first importance, there is a problem. God has so much He wants to tell you and me and so much He wants to teach us in this life. When I go a day without reading my Bible or just talking to God, my day never seems 100% complete or fulfilling. For me, it always feels like I ignored the gift that was sitting next to me all day, but didn't open. Ignoring something so beautiful, that it hurts afterward. I think that's how God wants it to be though. I just can't get over Him. ahhh I really can't. I don't know how long I have on this earth, but I do know that I want to live the time that I do have seeking the beauty of Jesus.

I'm always reminding myself that He is more.
He is enough.
He is all I need.
He is my strength
my song
my hope
my tower

He is higher than I.
I'm so thankful for that.

{Psalm 61}

Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah

For You, O God, have heard my vows;
You have given me the heritage of those you fear Your name.
You will prolong the king's life,
His years as many generations.
He shall abide before God forever.
Oh prepare mercy and truth which may preserve him!

So I will sing praise to Your name forever.
That I may daily perform my vows.

Monday, December 5, 2011


are not my favorite day of the week. at all.
But God made Monday's for a reason, because without Mondays we could never get to Fridays. So, Mondays are good in their own special way...but I still don't like them.

Anyways, this week is FINALS WEEK. So if you are wondering why I'm not posting very often, this is your answer. This week marks the end of my first semester of college and I am. SO.EXCITED.

This week is going to be really busy for me, so you won't be seeing me on here probably until next week after finals and papers are DONE. (insert fist pump here)

Hope you all have a fantastic week and stay strong in the Lord!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Nothing without Christ.



i was like a blind man on a road that led nowhere
just an empty-hearted beggar in desperate need of help
i was poor in spirit, but he was rich in love
i was down to nothin' when he came to lift me up
now i will never let myself forget all he has done
how he came and rescued me and where he brought me from

i am nothing without christ, he is everything to me
he's the reason that i live, he is my only need
i know i couldn't make it through
one day without jesus in my life
i am nothing, nothing without christ

there is nothing good in me that did not come from him
nothing i could boast of that he did not give
from the moment i cried out to him to heal my troubled soul
he welcomed me with open arms, said all that's mine is yours
now i will never let myself forget all he has done
how he came and rescued me and where he brought me from
like a wave without a seashore or a kingdom with no king

without jesus in my life, i know i wouldn't be complete

- "Nothing Without Christ" by Newsong

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

star gazing.

Watching the stars is something I love doing, but something I wish I did more often. There is something so humbling and peaceful about looking up into the vast sky and being overwhelmed by the magnificence of it all. Our days are filled with so much stress and many times we forget to stop and take a look at the beauty all around us.

I just went outside to walk my dog before heading into bed and took a moment to gaze up at the night sky - just one moment. Tonight there was not a cloud in sight, and there were more stars glistening against the darkness than I have probably ever seen before. As I looked up, I felt like I was getting a glimpse of the unfathomable beauty of God. The incredible complex and breathtakingly beautiful stars, galaxies, and planets were all put into place by the God we serve. And as we look up at those stars and admire their diamond like appearances, God looks down at us and says "you're beautiful to me."

That, my friends, is truly amazing.

 3 When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
moon and the stars, which You have ordained; 4 What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?

{Psalm 8:3-4}

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Last night I had a break down. No, not a melt down where everything gets all dramatic and weepy. I had a break down, you know...the kind where you look into the mirror and ask the person staring back at you what they really want in life? Yep, that kind. Last night I had one of the most amazing discussions with myself and God - all in the proximity of my bathroom while staring into the mirror.

I have dreams like most girls do. I want to be adored, be known, befriended, eat pretzels all know, all that normal stuff. But deep down inside, there's something more. a lot more. Recently I've been wondering what my purpose in life is. What am I here for and what am I supposed to be doing? I guess it is sort of a rhetorical question since no one can really answer that except God and myself, but last night as I stared into the eyes of a girl full with hopes and dreams, I asked her what she really wanted. What was her life's goal and what was holding her back from chasing after it?

And right about then is when I had my break down.

For the first time in a while I was truly honest with myself and spilled the beans on what has been haunting me for many years. And you know what that girl in the mirror answered?
"I want to be remembered." 

Last night I realized that my biggest fear in life was dying and being forgotten. Now, that may sound silly, but allow me to explain further. Last night I also realized that my life's goal is to allow God to use me to impact others. And my fear was that I'd die without ever being able to live out my goal and  have no one to continue on that legacy. But let me make this clear: I'm not looking for fame, popularity, or money because I don't won't it. I don't want to be remembered for something mundane - I want to be remembered as someone who touched lives and challenged others to do the same.
It may not be much, but it's my dream.

I've found that when God speaks it is not usually in a huge firework type of way, but a silent whisper to the heart that hits you right to the core. As I looked into the mirror, I heard God asking me if one person would be enough. If I only impacted one person...would it be enough? And in all honestly, what I really felt was: " wouldn't."

And right about then is when I had my second breakdown.
Crying, yes. Meltdown, no.

God brought me into the center of everything I've been trying not to face and put it to me hard. I realized that if I wanted God to use me for anything, I had to be 100% ok with the fact that I could die tomorrow, have impacted one person, and never be remembered. Because no matter what, I'd be remembered by Him. And that had to be enough.

It was one of the best and worst nights of my entire life, but I'm thankful. So so thankful. My heart beating means that I've got purpose and that He's got a plan. I'm content and I can honestly say that HE IS ENOUGH for me.

So last night, as I got ready to turn off the light in the bathroom, I smiled with tears streaming down my face and whispered to the girl in the mirror, "you'll be remembered."

Monday, November 28, 2011

no turning back.

More and more I am realizing how much I need God. How much I need His love, His strength, and His grace He holds me together and quietly whispers into the depths of my heart when I feel alone. I will praise Him in the storm and thank Him when the thunder rolls, because I know that He is in control. Not me. I don't ever want it to be me. He is my ever present refuge when I don't have a place to stand.

I can't get over His love. It truly amazes me.
I'm so weak, unloveable, and imperfect, yet He still calls me His child.
I don't understand, but I am thankful.
I never want to let go of God. I want Him to be my everything.

Please, Lord, show me how.
"If none go with me, I still will follow.
No turning back. no turning back."
1 O LORD, You are my God; 
I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; 
For You have worked wonders, 
Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.
2 For You have made a city into a heap, 
A fortified city into a ruin; 
A palace of strangers is a city no more, 
It will never be rebuilt. 

3 Therefore a strong people will glorify You; 
Cities of ruthless nations will revere You. 

4 For You have been a defense for the helpless, 
A defense for the needy in his distress, 
A refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat; 
For the breath of the ruthless 
Is like a rain storm against a wall.
5 Like heat in drought, You subdue the uproar of aliens; 
Like heat by the shadow of a cloud, the song of the ruthless is silenced.

 6 The LORD of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain; A banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, And refined, aged wine. 

7 And on this mountain He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples,
Even the veil which is 
stretched over all nations. 

8 He will swallow up death for all time,
And the Lord 
GOD will wipe tears away from all faces,
And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth;
For the LORD has spoken. 

9 And it will be said in that day,
“Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. 
This is the LORD for whom we have waited;
Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.”

{Isaiah 25:1-9}

I've got sunshine xox

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Your Identity

Today’s society tells us that our identities are based on what we look like, talk like, and act like. As teens, we struggle with this fact because we desire to be known and accepted by others. We yearn to be loved and, if not on the right path, sometimes make harmful decisions based on that desire. Throughout our lives, we search for that ‘something’ that we think can fill us up or satisfy a temporary hunger. We idolize every materialistic object, but pass by the One who created the genius’ who invented them. We pass by the Creator of the Universe and forget that it was He who put the sun, moon, and stars into place. We pass by God because the promise of becoming completely new seems impossible to us. We’ve done so many horrible things; God could never forgive me. We think there’s a catch because everything else we bought didn’t make us any happier. But even though we may run or hide, God chases after us and finds us in our awful state. He tells us that His promise is free and that we are worth it. No catch. No pain. Just love and only love. God meets us where we are and turns us into a new creation. The old passes away and a new life begins. {2 Corinthians 5:17}

Before you come to know Jesus, your identity is what you allow others to define. The world shapes you and then spits you out when it gets tired of you. God didn’t design you to become someone else or an outcast. He created you with a plan and a purpose because He LOVES YOU. You can only find your true identity in the love of God, but you have to make that choice and believe it. When you become a new creation in Christ, the past and shame washes away forever and you are the only person who can bring it back into your future. Your identity in Christ will change you and will teach you how to see and love yourself the way God does.

With a new beginning means a new way of living. You can’t be given a new, clean shirt and then go right back and play in the mud again. Being a new creation means turning your whole life around and allowing God to be the center of it. You are also the only person who can keep you from acknowledging yourself as a new creation by putting guilt or other things in front of your relationship with God. Right now, get a piece of paper and write down something that is keeping you from seeing yourself as a beloved child of the Most High God. Whether it be a relationship, your thoughts, your past, etc. Write it down and then tear it up. Tear that horrible lie up because you ARE a new creation and God sees you worthy of His love. If you have chosen to follow God, you are a new creation and nothing, and I mean nothing, can ever take that away from you. He loves you and that will never change!

Even though we tend to focus on all of our falls, God focuses on our steps and promises to be with us every step of the way during this journey with Him. That’s a promise and its real. I’ve read a saying recently that states: ‘Anything that doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger’. Following God isn’t always going to be fun, but He promises that He’ll never allow something that He knows you can’t handle. Trials in our life teach us how to live more like a new creation and really do make us stronger in our relationship with God.
If you have realized that your identity is in something that is not defined by Christ, I challenge you to throw away and put aside those things that are weighing you down. 

Remember, God can’t hold a full hand. Let go and let Him teach you how to love the person He created you to be. You are a new creation and awesome to God.
Thank Him today and praise the God who has made you completely new!


Hey everyone and welcome to my new blog! I'm so excited to begin sharing all kinds of great stuff on here, but you may or may not hear from me much the next two weeks until after my fall semester ends. I'd love to hear from you all and would greatly appreciate it if you would spread the news about I've Got Sunshine to other bloggers and friends. Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving!

Much love in Him,